So, to get to the point, he had just asked for more candy and was denied. "But," I said, "you can have a healthy snack. Apples, cashews, peanut butter spoon, cheese, milk. What would you like?"
His response was to leave the room. Which, at that point was OK by me.
However, he soon returned with a bag of Cheetos, to which I responded, "Nope. I said healthy snack."
"Cheetos are not candy," he informed me.
"But they're not healthy, " I explained, as I took them away and put them on a high shelf.
He proceeded to have a knock-down, drag-out tantrum on the floor. I repeated my offer for healthy, delicious foods. He kept screaming. I kept ignoring. Then he climbed up to get the Cheetos off the shelf.
I don't know what snapped in my crazy mommy brain, but I grabbed the bag of Cheetos, held them up to his face and smashed them into little bits. The screaming escalated. "I want them, I want them. Give them to me."
"No." I repeated.
It doesn't seem possible that it could have escalated more, but it did. "Give them to me."
So I did what any reasonable mother would do. I walked to the bathroom, opened the lid, poured the crumbs into the toilet, and flushed the entire snack size bag of Cheetos down.
Why I thought this would stop the tantrum, I'm not sure. It only served to turn the screams into gasping sobs.
"I want my Cheetos."
I wish now that I could say I didn't say the next line, but Todd could confirm that I then said, "Then go lick the toilet bowl, because that's as close as you're going to get."
It wasn't my best moment. I don't actually recommend trying to end a tantrum by flushing anything down a toilet. Now you know.
Is knowing half the battle?
4 comments:
Well, Steph, I still remember some of my "Worst Mother of the Year" moments. We learn from our experiences, apologize to our babies and then proceed with caution! I have never been a perfect mother (don't tell my children!) but at least they know that I love them and they will probably be neurotic and crazy simply because I AM their mother!
Love you,
Aunt Janette
You had me in stitches! Before I brought my kids over to your house this morning, I spent a good 30 minutes in a rampage with no good reason(I told them to brush their teeth - why didn't they just JUMP up and do it?!) Anyway, upon leaving the van, I told Sofie, "Sorry I've been so mean." She gave me the most adorable smile and said, "I forgive you." Seriously, how are our kids so much BETTER than us sometimes?
But you really need to finish the story with Ben - DID he lick the toilet bowl? :)
I love you! You help me remember I'm human. When Aaron had dug his fist into the cream cheese for the umpteen-millionth time, I did what any self respecting mother would do and rubbed his face in it. Apparently it worked, I haven't seem him in it since!
Thanks for sharing your glory moments...I simply don't have the guts to publish mine!
Stephanie McMillan what has Vegas done to you? I love it!! I read your entry to my girls and they loved it. They loved it because of the number of times a day they have to hear me say go get a healthy snack and they laughed because your list of healthy snacks is identical to mine. Mine is just minus the milk.
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