I was a scouting agnostic. Until last month, that is. Look it up.
Agnostic: a person who denies or doubts the possibility of ultimate knowledge
in some area of study. Let me tell you,
I’ve been in strong denial that scouting is the answer to make a boy a
man. Oh, I’ve “done” scouting for four
years. I’ve sent my boy off to be taught
or “entertained” by his den leaders and 11-year-old scout leaders. I’ve even praised the particularly good ones,
thanking them for getting my boy to where he is in scouting, because clearly it
hasn’t been me. In cub scouts, you could
always tell when it was about a month shy of an upcoming birthday, because the
mostly-blank tracking chart would go up on the fridge and we would feverishly
work to make check marks. Admittedly, he
has learned phenomenal lessons from a variety of amazing men, but despite this
I for sure had not had a drink of that scouting Kool-Aid.
Then came the
ever-looming Boy Scouts, with their rank advancements and uniform inspections
and the Holy Grail Eagle. That was one
mighty checklist in my mind. We floated
through 11-year-old scouts on the backs of two great leaders in two different
states. Is it sad to say there was a
part of me that was hoping for a different decision when the BSA was
contemplating the issue of homosexuality?
I was almost wishing it wouldn’t go well and then maybe the LDS church
would part ways (I’m just being honest here, folks). Then my husband got called to scouting, and
in a flurry of new excitement “we” made a plan, which we graciously informed
our 12-year-old he would be participating in.
We’re just cool like that. Real
cool.
But small things can change a mama’s mind. Small things like an 11,752 ft high
mountain. And 3 good men. And 1 good woman.
See, my 12-year-old Todd hiked Mt. Timpanogos last month. All the way to the top. And back down.
It.
Was.
Hard.
The day started early.
We got up an hour before the scheduled departure time, having made zero
preparations the night before (did I tell you we are awesome?). Both Todd and Ryan were a little stressed
(Ryan went as well—he’s a scout leader now, ya know). But we got them ready and out the door. It had been an ugly weather week—rain every
afternoon and most mornings. Our view of
Timp from home was socked in with dreary grey clouds. They left at 7:00. 5 boys and 5 leaders. The other 4 boys hiked in 2.5 miles, and
then had other obligations to get home to.
So they headed back down the mountain.
Those other four leaders kept going.
With one scout. Yep. My scout.
Let me tell you, it would have been mighty easy to say, “Let’s all head
back. We’ll do this again another
time.” But they didn’t. They took their entire Saturday to help my
son summit a mountain.
It was perhaps the most demanding physical exertion that he
has ever asked of his body. And this kid
isn’t a weakling—he swims one to two hours a day, all week. But he hasn’t built up his hiking legs, and
it was hard for him. There was weeping,
wailing, and gnashing of teeth (literally).
He wanted to quit. At the top,
they made a shelter for him out of ponchos and he sat in it with the one mama
who was there—she probably knew he need a little mothering amidst all the
manliness. I’m sure he’ll toughen up
after a few years in the Utah arctic tundra, but this kid is still a desert
rat—he was cold. She sat there with him
until he got back some degree of body heat.
He truly felt like he couldn’t make it back down the mountain. His legs were jello. He was cold.
They ran out of food and he was hungry.
I made him wear my hiking books because we’re the same size, but that
wasn’t a brilliant idea. In utter
frustration he took off his hiking boots and hiked 3 miles in 3 layers of socks
(2 of which belonged to leaders). This
was not a hike to publish in Backpacker
magazine. Nothing glamorous here.
But here’s the beauty and the lesson of the day. My son did something monumentally
difficult. In this day of ease and
plenty, we rarely ask extremely difficult things of our bodies or minds. Scouting
asks these things. And it is in
those difficulties that we find out who we are and what we are capable of. One day, perhaps 6 years from now on the
streets of Chicago or in the jungles of Brazil, or on a path in China, Todd
will feel like he can’t possibly go on.
His legs, or his heart, will be wobbling and threatening to buckle. He will feel freezing in body, or in spirit,
or both. He will want to quit. But he will remember that he hiked Mount
Timpanogos. He will remember that
Brother Mason, Brother Skinner, Sister Skinner, and his dad believe in
him. He will remember that they stood beside
him while he did something that felt impossible. It may not be a glorious moment. But when he is an 18-year-old serving a
mission, or a young father struggling to find his way in the world, or a
middle-aged father feeling lost and unneeded in a new place, he will remember
that summit. And he will pick himself up
and keep going. Because he will know
that he can. He has done it before. He can do it again.
So I’m a convert.
Scouting at its heart isn’t about badges and lists and checkmarks. It isn’t about sewing on patches or paying
registration fees. It isn’t about deadlines
and details. It is about my son. It is about making him a man who knows he can
climb mountains. Because there are
mountains ahead.

3 comments:
Wow. What a cool post Steph. It made me cry at the end (mostly because I just miss you guys!!) with the father bit and made me motivated to help Sam out. And, I will admit, I about fell off my chair when I saw a new post from Golpher Patrol in my bloglist.
Love to hear from you, Steph. Still feel like we are kindred spirits. I have been a Cub Scout den leader for 2 years. I was hoping the church would drop scouting too (there are lots of us agnostics!), but now I've decided I have to embrace it. I hope I can see Hayden have some similar experiences with scouting that will help him learn to do hard things.
Best scouting mom mentor ever! I feel honored that my husband could be a part of that life-changing experience for Todd. Thanks for sharing.
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