I don't know much

The older I get, the more I realize that I just don't know nearly anything. (This probably will not come as a surprise to many of you). I have clearly in my mind all these preconceived notions about how things should work, and then over and over again I come to realize that the world just isn't all black and white.

Stay-at-home moms, for example. I am so, so, so grateful that I have the chance to be at home with my kids. Even as they are both in school full time this year, I feel like my role is crucial. I love being the watchguard at the gate as they come and go. I love doing their laundry and cleaning the house while they're gone so that when they come home, we have more time to "be" (though I'm still figuring out how to balance this so I don't become a slave and they don't feel entitled. . .we'll tackle that on a later post). I love the ability to spend an entire day at the school every week helping in classrooms.

I was talking with Ryan's mom a while ago and told her how grateful I was that Ryan works hard so that I can stay home. She said something that made me pause, "It isn't just Ryan, though. You work hard so you can stay home, too. You do without some things, you don't spend a lot of money on clothes or jewelry so that you can stay home. It's really both of you." I appreciated that thought.

But here's the other side. I went into Todd's classroom this morning for a meeting with one of his teachers and ended up chatting with all three of them. Two of them are moms. . .great moms. . .and Fantastic teachers. They are just the women Todd needed this year to get him through a kind of rough transition from home school to school school. One of them has a fifth grader herself in Todd's class, and one of them has a first-grader in Ben's class. I don't know these women personally, I don't know their circumstances, I don't really know much about them except that I am so grateful they are where they are.

I have spent hours and hours in the last six months praying that Todd would be blessed with teachers who would recognize his tender sensitive little soul behind his sometimes pain-in-the-bum exterior. Hours. And hours. Praying. And these women are the answer to my prayers.

So, I'm learning. I believe that a mother's place is in the home. I'm grateful to be there. But what if all great, wonderful, caring mothers were at home? Who would teach my boys? Who would help them learn to love history and writing and math (OK, perhaps not love math--just tolerate it). Not to say that men aren't great teachers; they're amazing. But they are few and far between.

And so, I'm learning not to judge, not to presume, but to realize that everyone has her own path. I'm grateful I am where I am and am blessed. I'm grateful for women who do the best they can with what they have and where they are. I believe we all have to figure out for ourselves and for our families just what works for us. We can pray for guidance and be directed. But we can't judge other people, because we aren't in their shoes.

One thing I am certain of is I am grateful for amazing teachers!