Friday Night Date Night

We didn't actually attend a session for date night this week--instead we took in the beautiful view of the temple and the night sky. This first one overlooks our part of the city--one of those dots of light is our home--within a short drive of the temple. . .how blessed we are.

A couple cool shots of pieces of the temple--we liked the shadows cast by the palms.

The bright moonlight cast a smoke-ish glow around the spires.

Crazy Auntie

An epiphany is defined as: the sudden realization or comprehension of the essence or meaning of something.

I keep having them--moments when things are crystal clear. Then I lose those moments and need reminding. I had such a moment last week. I realized clearly why Heavenly Father has not sent me six children. I think perhaps this epiphany is one I will remember?

I watched my darling nieces and nephew for 2 days and nights while my brother and his wife went to a little convention here in good ole' Vegas. 2 + 4 = 6 crazy kids. I sure love them, but multiplying my own brood by 3 was quite the reality check! It was crazy, it was loud, and my two-year-old niece has boundless energy and ability to get into stuff of all kinds.

But, all that aside, I really loved having them here. I have such fond memories of cousin time (playing gopher patrol with Heather, climbing haystacks, learning to shuffle cards, riding tojo's, staying up late into the night). I love it when my kids can have great times with their cousins. Those memories last forever.

We had minimal tears, no blood incidents, and only an occasional scuffle (none of which involved fists, hooray!) We adjusted our table to its full length and used all our kitchen chairs for a change. It was great fun.

Aubs and I did a sewing project together--that 10-year-old is already developing some mad sewing skills. She is also mighty helpful. Then the 8-year-olds wondered why Aubs got a cool pillow and they didn't, which was followed in turn by the younger set, so my one pillow project turned into a seven pillow project. Fun stuff.

We'll have to do it again soon.

Return of the baby Jedi

Aubs in project mode

Ben loves his cousin Lizzie--they play together so well.

Does this look like the face of someone who would smear blue gluestick

all over the front of the side table?

Matching cousin happiness-- some day they'll probably be disgusted by

these matching jackets, but right now they love them.

Kyle's a bit girl-trapped. So we've made him an honorary brother.

Cool

Crazy Auntie face

On the Road to Happiness?

We had a nice family home evening last week about our family and goals. We talked about how we can't get anywhere if we don't know where we're going.

We talked about conquering new things as a family.

It was motivational.

We felt great.

One of our goals was to spend more time outside. We don't want to be a couch potato family. So, on the very first Saturday after our goal fest, we headed out to the great outdoors to move toward our goal.

We fell flat on our face.

OK. Let me qualify that. The day started great. The day ended great. It was just that middle part that got a little bit ugly. Well, not just a little bit. Downright ugly.

We headed back to Red Rock. Where else can you hike in a sweatshirt on January 9 and get so hot you have to take it off? Las Vegas does have its advantages.

We met our great friends, The Knudsons, for about an hour and a half of climbing the cliffs and a picnic lunch before they had to head back down the mountain. Then, we got to the meat of our day--we actually wanted to hike a trail. Mistake number one. Don't spend an hour and a half exerting oneself before the actual hike.

So, we began hiking. Before we reached the trailhead we began to hear, "When are we going home?" (from Todd) and "Mommy, can you carry me?" (from Ben).

We kept hiking. I carried Ben for about the first 20 minutes until he found his groove. Then he remembered he could climb and jump and act like a monkey and he got happy again. About an hour into the hike, we met a family coming down the trail. Mistake number two. I asked how close we were to the end. "Not very close," was the reply. We kept going.

After we had consumed all our Cliff bars at a conveniently located "stone couch" Todd found in the trail, he asked, "Why are we wasting our whole Saturday at Red Rock?" Perhaps we need to go deeper in our goal-settting?

We kept hiking. Climbing. Slipping. Gaining elevation. It was a challenge, but the kids were doing fine and it was by no means insurmountable. The complaining was interspersed with laughter, major posing for Dad's camera, and some really fun moments when they forgot their goal was to make the hike miserable. When they remembered their task at hand, they were masterful at whining. You would have thought we were asking them to climb Everest.

We kept climbing.

We finally made it. It was breathtaking. (Not the small pool of stagnant water called the Calico Tanks that was the actual name of the hike, but the view of the entire Las Vegas valley framed by the vibrant red rocks illuminated with late afternoon sun).

Todd's reaction? He started crying and hunched into the corner of a rock. This wasn't little sobbing, but the ugly-cry, the kind where your face gets all blotchy with red and purple and your nose starts running to beat the band. The kind where you won't let anyone touch you or hug you. The kind where you're certain nothing will ever be right in your world again. What was the cause of this depth of despair? He realized that we had reached the end of the trail. . .and we had to go the entire way back.

At this point Ben decided he should join the pity party. His cries weren't quite so ugly, but he was whiny enough to make up for it. Mistake number three: Ryan and I laughed. Really. It was seriously pitiful. We hiked all that way and couldn't even get a decent photo with the fun new camera because our children were bawling. Awesome.

So, we turned around and headed back. Actual mistake number four: Todd left his sweatshirt at the car because we really were warm earlier, but it was cold in the canyon. So, I gave him my coat and froze in my short sleeve T-shirt for the rest of the hike. As he warmed up he finally stopped crying (about 15 minutes into our return hike) and regained some semblance of normalcy. Somewhere about this time, a switch flipped in Ben and he started his unending talking jag. When he starts this, we know he's doing just fine. He's in his happy place when he can't keep his mouth shut for more than .5 seconds. So he recovered nicely.

It took much less than half the time to get back down out of the canyon. The two hour hike at a moderate level ended up taking us three hours. But we did it. We accomplished a family goal. The boys were just happy it was over, which wasn't really the outcome I had hoped for. But, I think I learned some good lessons.

1. Be better prepared--bring more snacks. We had plenty of water, but a bit more protein or some good carbs might have made a difference. Isn't this how life is in general? Don't most of our less-than-stellar performances come when we could have been better prepared but simply weren't.

2. Keep layers of clothing with you. We are physical creatures, all of us. When we're hot or cold or hungry or tired, things look bleak.

3. Sometimes things are hard, but we have to do them anyway. This is the reason we will be back on that trail again in the near future. We're going to conquer it happily (or maim each other trying).

4. Our kids aren't always going to be happy as we journey along this trail together. But, our main goal isn't to make our kids "happy" 100% of the time. Our main goal is to help them find a path that will bring them eternal joy, and that's a much more difficult thing to find. The world produces a false sense of satisfaction and happiness in entertainment, so if we aren't careful, our kids think those things are happiness and they think other things are a waste of time because they don't bring about that quick instant gratification. It's a challenge unique to our time. (Again, read David A. Bednar's Things As They Really Are if you haven't done so).

4. How often does Heavenly Father look down at me and say, "you're making this harder than it is? It really isn't that bad. Just back up and change your perspective." The hike really wasn't that bad. My kids were physically fine. Other than being a bit chilly, their basic needs were met. But Todd got it in his head that it was soooooo hard. Once that thought had planted itself, he just couldn't shake himself out. I'm going to think about that next time I feel bogged down. How much of it is real and how much of my pain am I manufacturing to make myself miserable?
Who knew I could learn so much from one hike? I'm headed back next week for more. . .wanna come?

Near the beginning, what a cheese ball

Super Ben


Still relatively calm

Early in the hike, during the "happier times"

Striding out, pre-breakdown

At the top. . . This picture really doesn't do justice to the drama.

Todd never even checked out this amazing view.

Back At It

School started up again last week at the McMillan house. It was a rough transition back into routine--much needed after two weeks off, but rough all the same.

Luckily, we started with a new science unit with plenty of hands-on experiments, like this one. 2 parts cornstarch mixed with 1 part water has the properties of both a solid and a liquid. Both boys were fascinated. It was messy and delightful.

Funny side note--Ryan got a fun fancy new camera for Christmas. He has spent hours reading and researching to learn the ropes of this fun new toy. He knows cool things about white balance and ISO and AF-something or other. I just know that it takes cool pictures of my kids. So, while we were doing this experiment, I wanted to capture the delightful expressions on those adorable faces. I picked up the camera.

All action ceased. Todd got very serious. "Mom, I don't think you should use Dad's camera." (an emphasis on "Dad's camera"). "He says you don't know how to use it and you don't take good pictures."

I assured him it would be fine if I used "Dad's camera," but he was never quite convinced. I don't think I did too bad of a job with the pictures, do you? (By the way, in Ryan's defense, he later claimed that he didn't say anything about the quality of my pictures. . .should we believe him? probably not. I do usually take lousy pictures)

First Christmas

In their new Christmas Eve jammies,

Poised and ready to see the loot.

Club Penguin cards--a real hit.

Ben's first very own Nerf gun.

I love this genuine smile on my Dad's face. It was fun to surprise him.

Ben chose Lego Indiana Jones for Playstation for Todd. It was exactly the right thing.

So, it's already January 10, and I'm finally blogging about Christmas, but you'll just have to accept it and read on if you wish.

This was our first Christmas at home. Yes, we have been married 12 years, and we lived on the opposite side of the country for nearly half those years, but we have made the trek to one of our parent's homes every year. This year we finally decided it was time to be home. And it was delightful. Entirely delightful. I hope that when I write this both our parents realize that this is in no way a reflection on how much we love to visit. But, there is something about feeling the traditions of Christmas in your own space that simply feels right.

We almost didn't know what to do with ourselves. We had no definitive traditions about what to eat or what to do. What do we do on Christmas Eve? What do we eat? I think it's high time that we begin to discover these things for ourselves. We realized that we have a few differing traditions that have never come to light before now. Strange, isn't it.

The real blessing of the season was that though we decided to stay home, we didn't celebrate alone. My parents were here for nine blessed days (the best Christmas present of all), and Ryan's parents were here for four. Ryan's brother Kalen spent a long weekend with us during Christmas, and Ryan's brother, Brandon with family Lucy, Filipe, and Sam were here for New Year's. What a great time was had by all.

Red Rock in December

We spent a great afternoon at Red Rock Canyon with my parents and Ryan's dad during the week after Christmas. I always love getting my boys away from all their various screens and out in nature. It brings out their best selves. Todd was an explorer, climbing high peaks with Grandpa Kevin. He had a small near-slip which brought his heart rate up and gave him a healthy dose of caution for the rest of the day. Ben never felt any caution whatsoever and was like a perpetual motion machine. I finally had to get him off the rocks and down exploring through the canyons before he gave me and Grandma a heart attack. Grandpa Glenn was a trooper, climbing with the big boys even on very sore knees. He's always good for a laugh and even captured a great picture of the coolest gold jacket I have ever seen.

There are moments when Las Vegas is too much for me, but hiking on December 30 without getting frostbite was a pretty good deal. Grandma Cheri, Grandpa Kevin, Todd, and Ben after several long hours of hiking

The shadow hikers

Near the beginning of the hike


Can you see Todd and Grandpa Kevin in this picture?

Cute little Ben, temporarily corralled between the rocks

Gorgeous

Contemplative

Happy Birthday to Grandpa

So, this is a great picture of the cake, even if my dad isn't in it. But, he loves the cake, so maybe that's OK by him to picture this delicious hunk of goodness instead of his handsome mug shot.

My Dad's birthday is on Christmas day, so luckily we get to share it with him at least every other year. I just thought I'd give a shout out to my Dad and the great father and grandfather he is.

Dad has worked hard for his family for years. He went to college later in life and worked about a thousand jobs to put himself through college while raising a family (a double shout out to my mom for this, too). I'm sure this was a tough time for both of them, but I only remember it as a great accomplishment that we were all proud of. They always encouraged us to get all the education we could, so there was no question whether I would go to college later in life. I owe much of my diploma to my parent's belief that I could do whatever I dreamed.

Dad and Mom have had a bit of a rough year as the economy hit hard in Boise like it did everywhere else. But I have been grateful for his example of perseverance and service as they've made it through.

Dad is a great grandpa. He can fix anything. Whenever anything breaks majorly at our house, my kids confidently say that Grandpa can fix it. Most people move couches and tables to redecorate, but when I was little and we needed rearranging, Dad moved walls and doors. His yard is a thing of beauty. He recently took up bread baking and he and my mom became master canners and food preservers.

Thanks for being a great Dad and Happy Birthday! May this year bring great things.